A friend's sister who has Cerebral Palsy ended up in an ICU again. As I'm in shock and in fear of what may come next I can't stop thinking how lucky me and my family had to had been all those years for being spared all of this. Every few months I hear about these young people. Bed ridden. Much younger than me, didn't really to experience much in life- their condition more extensive- face life threatening conditions. Nothing left to do, but pray. As much as I don't want to turn this into discussion on theory of Cerebral Palsy origins, I can't stop to wonder. What is the difference between us, on the books we have the same disability. A few seconds, a few milometers, a few more dead brain cells? Why am I here and they're there. Is it all random? Why was I spared? That's why you will never hear me complain about my disability. What do I have to complain about? I feel blessed. I'm alive. I get to explore the world and meet people. I get to move around. I see, I hear, I speak and I talk. I open my arms and experience the surroundings with all my senses. I have my plans. I have big dreams. Not for myself, but for the things I can do for others. No sir, I have nothing to complain about. So people give me odd looks on the street. Should I even care? So, some are more likely to prejudge and dismiss me. So it's harder to do some tasks and I need help with others. So wheeling is not as fast as walking. Big deal. So I don't look gracefully in my chair. So what? I don't get to climb stairs or tango and getting a date is not as easy, I will never become a painter or a dancer. Who cares. Life is precious and I love mine. When I ask why me it's not out of frustration for being in a wheelchair- it's why am I doing better than people who have the same thing. And I think whenever I feel sorry for myself, because I have those moments just like everybody else there's nothing that puts things in perspective quite like this. Yes Ma'am! I'm blessed. I have everything that I need.. And I should give back more to pay back this huge debt I owe the universe.
Uplifting. Thank you, Ralph. Wide awake when I should be sleeping. Thinking and reading. Now I shall turn in. Uplifted.
ReplyDeleteSee you in Munich in a couple of weeks or so.