By myself

A week ago I needed to print some motions for court the next day. My printer wasn't working, none of my neighbors were around to help. I could have called one of my friends to come and help me and I'm sure they'd done it gladly. At that point I've decided I will do this by myself. Like I used to for years when I first moved here. On a bus, when I didn't have people I could ask for favors or to drive me somewhere. I also realized how much I confined myself to the immediate area. Most of the things I need, I find downtown. There's really no need to go anywhere else. And the less I do it, the less I find the energy and the need to. Years ago I'd just hop on the bus to go somewhere, get something done, without a second thought. It may had been a chore to spend a long time in transit, but I can't quite explain it. Making it somewhere and getting things done gave me a great sense of accomplishment. And yes- I really enjoyed being able to get around, to keep moving all by myself. Stepping outside of my apartment always felt like an adventure. I got to meet new people and see new places. Maybe it's because for many years before I moved to where I lived today I wasn't close to anything really. To experience anything I had to hop on a bus and get somewhere. Have an adventure but even get food or coffee. Doing any minor task involved me forcing myself out the door and into the world. And I've met so many amazing people in the most bizarre circumstances. Starting a conversation in a check out line or talking to people studying at a cafe. Now I make my own coffee. No need to go to Starbucks that much anymore. While I don't miss the drink I do miss the social element of it. The let the day take you where it will feeling I've always enjoyed about Gainesville. I've decided to take the Later Gator bus, the night service known for taking the party goers who are all partied out home. I went to the copy and printing place Midtown, the part of Gaiesville I don't visit often. How long has it been? Months? Years? They have a Dunkin' Donuts in there now and a Baskin' Robbins. I remember how I would go there at all times of night to finish a project, write papers and study for the Bar exam. It had a 24 hour coffee place. Now none of their food places are open 24/7. And it gave me an odd feeling. This place was connected to so many of my school and real life experiences. It's were David Cumming recorded an interview with me for his Alligator spread story. It's where I printed all my exhibits for the Trial Practice class, which seemed like such a big deal at the time. It's where I got my Immigrant Petition on paper for the first time. And all this happened between running for the bus to take me home or to some other part of town. Probably to meet a connecting route. So much rolling around, so much movement. I miss that. And I miss how much skinnier I was having to rely on my muscles all day. There was rarely any reason for me to be home other than sleep, because, you guessed it there was nothing there. Today I stayed in, because I felt it was to wet outside and it seemed that putting on a jacket would be too much of a bother!. But I did have a great sense of accomplishment when my motions and notices were finally printed, placed in envelopes and mailed off. Like old times. I can't quite explain it. That Saturday I took a bus to the grocery store. By myself. Something I have not done in ages. For a good  reason. I'm limited as to how many things I can put in bags hanging from my chair. But I forgot how much fun it was. On Sunday I went again. It was not as efficient that asking a friend with a car to help me load up three weeks worth of food, but rolling up to the stop, heavy from all the things I bought I had a feeling of satisfaction again. Because I did it all by myself.