Saturday, November 10, 2012


I had to be around seven when they realized that, given any opportunity, I would just lean against any back rest.  Conductors at the Peto Institute would from that point on make me sit in chairs without it for better posture and balance. It's not that I minded doing the work or that I rebelled against it. I just always did better when there was a goal, a challenge or a task. When I was a little boy and my mom wanted to make walking around with braces a little more interesting for me, she'd have us go from our house to the local video store. It would take many hours, I'd have blisters on my feet sometimes, my hands would hurt and I'd be exhausted. But there was something for me to focus on, a purpose other than "it's the right thing to do". I've been thinking about it more and more recently since I have gained some weight in the last few years and I feel I have much less energy to do anything. It feels much harder to get myself together.  Part of it is age- I'm in my thirties,  but once outside my door, I feel much  more more active. As I grow older I should be moving more, not less to keep my energy levels up. I've become so comfortable living downtown, just a short walk from anywhere I'd want to be and a bus stop, and yes, I've gotten lazy. I was never skinny as a child, but I've lost a lot a weight and built up strong muscles in the first months I was here. In odd ways I may add. It were not my biceps- I looked more like Popeye. Every day for the first few years it would take quite a workout to even get to the bus. To get out of one of the apartment complexes I lived in I had to roll up the hill that felt quite steep just to get to the gate. it wasn't far but because it was high up it would take me about 20 minutes It was some drop coming home at night! The next one had my  apartment in the back of the property. The very last building. It could take me 40 minutes rolling around, part of it the street,just to get out of there. And yet I didn't mind. I lived there for 4 years. I didn't complain or mind, it was something I had to do each day to get my date started. There was a reason to do it. I remember liking to do things around the house and be able to them for myself, by myself. like washing my dishes by hand. Now loading the dishwasher feels like a dreaded task sometimes. I've spent hours of the day going places on a bus and back, switching routes and walking between stops.   It's odd when I think how much time I've spent commuting that I considered part of my natural routine. It's still hard for me to do things just cause, and it's getting harder to challenge myself beyond my comfort zone.

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