Picture this: I was coming home from a meeting this Tuesday when I decided to stop by Starbucks. They were doing some kind of Two-for-1 Christmas drink promotion so the line was really long. A lot of people in a crowded room, everyone on their phones hardly seeing what's in front of them. I was just presenting our new Foundation materials and I thought it went pretty well. I decided I can wait and reward myself with a pumpkin spice latte. I was focusing on finding something in my manpurse when a man headed for the door with a cup of coffee in his hand walked right into me, Physically tried to get through me, never looking at me. I can't say that ever happened to me before, I've had people tripping over my lap when they were on their phones but never anything quite like this. It was as if he tried to body slam me, then he tripped and hit me on the head with his body weight. I couldn't tell if he was drunk or just in shock. I know I was. I wanted to air my frustration, yell some profanities at him, how dare he invade my private space, how dare he not look down. Invading my private space like I wasn't there. He asked me if I was OK but I was mad. And I wasn't quite sure if I wasn't injured. He just fell on me and I felt like I walked into a wall. It took me a second to figure out that nothing was broken. And I really wanted to tell him what an a-hole he was. I'm a person! But then through all the anger, frustration and shifting emotions all I could get out was "You should really watch where you're going!" when all I wanted to do is say something intelligent and poignant something to make him think about what happened, what he's done, how I felt, and how he doesn't even have a clue. "You're right, I should"- he responded and that I was not expecting. I was anticipating some cocky dismissive reaction that would allow me to vent further. And I think I could have easily yelled at him for five minutes and he would have just taken it. Instead that was all of it and we just parted our ways. I wasn't happy with my reaction. Nothing that I could say could have undone this anyway and it's not like I wanted him to be haunted by this experience. I also didn't want him to take the heat from all the other instances that the world ignored me or something happened and I could have let them have it and didn't say anything. Although I will say I was mostly frustrated with him and no one else. It's painful when a heavy man falls on your head and I don't want to make excuses for him. It it is tiring to always take the high road and be the understanding one. But that's not what this was about. Yes, my chair was pretty low was he wasn't looking where he was going. He saw an opening. And then he ruined my day. But by letting him get to me I made it even worse not for him, but for me.
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