The Window

It's a strange thing to say- as I looked at the window in my bedroom I realized it hasn't been open in years.  As a child I couldn't fall asleep without it being at least slightly cracked. I tossed and turned and felt like I couldn't breathe. I'd go to great extremes just to get it open. During m years at rehabilitation ward of the Child's Health Centre Hospital in Warsaw I had this night routine that required great planning. I would crawl off the bed, put a chair next to the table, climb up the chair get on the table to frantically jerk the handle just to get a little bit air. It didn't matter what season it was. I didn't care how cold it was outside. If anything, it was the cool breeze that put me to sleep. Sometimes, while rearranging furniture at night I'd make a sound. A nurse would catch me on the floor. I'd tell her I fell of my bed and after an instance or two they started putting those bed rails up for my safety. I thought that if I told her the truth I'd be yelled at for doing all this nonsense at night instead of sleeping. I guess I've learnt to sleep with the windows closed while visiting my cousin in Las Vegas. The Air Conditioning was constantly circulating cold air and if you tried to stick your head outside - you'd melt in the middle of that Indian Summer. I guess for me it was about the stale air, the odd smell of the room.  When I was visiting my family in Poland it was the cigarette smoke that the walls, drapes and furniture felt soaked in. I think I was quite a trooper when I agreed to take a smoking room in a hotel that confused my reservation in Tampa, the day before the Bar exam. Getting used to the aftersmell of a cigarette that seemed to surround me was quite a challenge, although the front desk gave me a battle of a fabric freshener spray. Being forced out of my room in the middle of the night because of a gas leak and fire alarm took the cake that night anyway.  It's been year since I visited home, but during my short stay in Warsaw I noticed a familiar routine. My dad going into my room before he turned in for the night, opening my window, locking in in place and getting the roller blind down. Just like the old times. And that made me smile. It's a funny thing to think about, but over the last few days I've had a feeling that my AC is broken. It was set to 76 degrees  F (who knows how much that is in C?) and it felt very warm. I thought I was perhaps coming down with the flu being hot and sweaty, but a friend who was sleeping over in my living room  was not comfortable either. It doesn't feel like 76, she said, reset all my vents and took it down one degree. She felt it was the filter, that I hadn't replaced in a while and the age of the unit  that made the room hotter. I already had ceiling fans running in every room at full speed as I thought to myself, if only I could open a window...