Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Spring is here and it shows

I've had a stressful couple of weeks. My Big Project that I plan to announce soon seemed to be coming apart. The original excitement of people who decided to join me seems to be dying down. The longer we wait the further we are from what we planned. The DC Bar gave me a month to produce evidence to their satisfaction that I have Cerebral Palsy and use a wheelchair. I was able to get a doctor to assist me in that, but with a deadline a week away, I still don't have a note to send off and I'm very nervous. I've had a lot of things happen to me but never did anyone claim that I'm not "disabled enough". I have videos, articles written about me, some speaking engagement but a scarce medical file. I've only lived in this country for nine years, never treated for anything serious I'm still trying to look up the documents from the university outlining my accommodations just to have a back up, but I guess I lost it three apartments ago. Over the Eastern weekend I was working on the application to the Leadership Academy- a new program within the Florida Bar to promote professionalism, integrity and diversity. 40 young attorneys will be picked every year and have their skills brought to a new level. I felt stressed, pulled in multiple direction. The cold weather made it worse. Getting out of bed was not an exciting perspective at all. I felt heavy, tense and tired. The weight of all my problems seemed to press down on  my wheelchair. But today was a wonderful day. I figured I need to clear my head and change perspective. I've contacted the Florida Bar to make sure that they got all my documents and from that point on a burden was lifted. I've decided to go for a walk. It was warm and sunny. You could smell Spring in the air. I was not even nervous when I was crossing one of the Gainesville's busiest street. The sun was out, trees and plants were vibrantly green. And I remembered how much fun I would have making it a weekly effort to go downtown. The fun I used to have with my friends. The restaurants and little venues I would go into and explore, some that are no longer around. And I thought about how much I grew to like this place, Gainesville, how much it became mine over the years. And then I wanted to celebrate spring with having a nice dinner. I felt joy. I felt so content that I didn't even mind that I left the money I've set aside for drinks at home. I've had scallops, because it's been a while and I did go for a dessert  - their new choco flan. I was celebrating with absolutely nothing in particular to celebrate and I decided to spend the night at karaoke while checking out other places. The smell of the season I just can't explain. Winter is over, Spring is here and it shows.

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