The bus waits round the corner

This might not be a big deal, but it irks me because it shows how little consideration for the needs of people in wheelchairs like me goes into planning in Gainesville where I live.  I don't know if it's temporary or permanent and if it's caused by the expansion of the Butler Plaza shopping area, but the bus drivers of the bus route 1, that I usually take to buy groceries on Sunday are now told not to wait on passengers by what used to be the last stop on the run, but to go round the corner and kill time there instead. On both ends, drivers usually sit there for a few minutes before they head back out again. You may ask: what's the difference, it's only a short walk away? The old stop had a shelter. The other is a rod in the middle of grass, and what's more important to me- it doesn't have a sidewalk. I've seen people running for the buss across the grassy area just to make it. I can't do it. I can't roll off a sidewalk and go through grass, even if the driver can wait that long. They do wait for 5,10 often a few minutes especially on their last run. So, it does feel at times like the bus is mocking me. It's there, so close, but I just can't get to it. And I guess it's not a big deal. Most of the time I have 30 minutes to wait for the next one - and it will stop for me if i get to the usual shelter five minutes earlier, because it does go through there. But it doesn't leave you with a good feeling to know that there's yet another place you can't get to. That people can run for it, but you have to wait. And I'm sure there's a lot good reasons for it: safety, narrow roads, traffic. But what I want to know is how come we still have bus stops without sidewalk access, in the middle of a road or grass.

The Starbucks remodel

All through law school I used to go to Starbucks almost every day. Grab a cup of a white mocha in a "for here" mug  and spend hours reading for class or studying for exams. Now I live across from their store in downtown Gainesville and you might be surprised to know- I don't go there that much at all. I'm a huge coffee drinker- although not as much as I used to. Its proximity was a huge selling point when I was picking out apartments and I still have meetings there from time to time because it has tables and chairs and it's a location that everyone knows.  The store changed - quite literally- and with the updated feel it is I who doesn't feel comfortable there anymore. Few months ago it underwent some extensive remodeling.  I was actually exited to see the finished product. It may look stylish and sophisticated and it even serves wine. In the process, with all the sitting areas and new furnitur,e it forgot to at least try to be wheelchair friendly. And I know it's probably not a concern for them. I doubt wheelchair users storm Starbucks locations daily to get coffee, but it matters to me. Coffee is an indulgence not a necessity and I tend not go where I don't feel welcome unless I have to. And if the most prominent area of the store is a high bar with stools, you know it feels off limits to me. Everything is out of reach. I'm now far more limited to where I can sit with my cup.  With the couch  closer to the door placed in front of some smaller tables and some tables on the sides, the shop feels like a maze that I have to navigate with small isles between the stools and chairs. I can't even roll from the door the door to the registers without waiting on someone to scoot over to let me get through or having to move their backpack off the ground. I could go for the table by the couches, but the isle is to small to face it, there's no room- so I have to position myself sideways. I can only use it as a side-table. It doesn't make me feel comfortable. Everything is higher and feels more crowed. Whoever approved this style clearly never had to use a wheelchair. I miss the times when the floorplan was more open and inviting. Because for me this was not it. I felt rushed. Even as I was able to claim some piece of a table top to rest my elbow on I felt constantly in the way. Unwelcome. Unwanted. Not fitting in with whatever "modern" design Starbucks  is going for as it transitioned from a coffee chain to "everything for everyone" type of franchise. I hope that it realizes that in turn it may disfranchise people like me. And I must say, As I ate my food and drank my cappuccino  facing the side of the room I kept thinking how much I'd like to sit with Starbucks executives, tell them about the work we have cut out for us at the Florida Disability Access and Awareness Foundation, the need for more inclusion, accessibility and empathy.

The Brave Reporter

On Monday morning, Angie Angers, a reporter from a local CBS affiliate, GTN decided to spend 24 hours in a wheelchair. Just like in August we partnered with one of the biggest equipment providers in the country, Numotion- although this time they gave us (and her)  a different chair for a day. A light sports model that doesn't even fold. Angie seemed to have the navigation figured out pretty quickly as she went down and up the Hippodrome Theatre ramp both forwards and backwards, but her "left" and "right" was still a bit confusing. Her initial idea was to be in the wheelchair for a day like all our other participants earlier in the year and then report on her experience on local news. Here's what's brave about it. She was eager to do it. Her managers were excited for her to do it. And we were ready to go. You may ask, why is it such a big deal, it's just a wheelchair. But if you consider that reporters from the competition (ABC affiliate WCJB and student-ran PBS station WUFT)  were expressly told no to sit in the wheelchair, not to try it, not to pose with it, Angie's determination gains a new dimension. Where other stations focus of not offending anybody and tried to stay clear from making viewers uncomfortable and misunderstanding the point, GTN went for it. Yes, they will be tactful, yes, they will explain the motivation. But there are always risks of someone seeing this as mockery. Because disability and everything that comes with it scares people. To me- my wheelchair is a tool. It's an accessory. It allows me to be mobile. And it looks great. I don't project my fears, reservations and despair onto it and you shouldn't either. The types of reactions that we've gotten from the other stations was precisely the reason why we continued with the project and why  I want it to spread. To challenge how people feel about disability. How it's them who make awkward things that shouldn't be awkward and how a wheelchair becomes this sacred object with magical powers it was never intended to be. Some people use wheelchairs others wear glasses and we are all the same. And I will continue with projects like these until people continue to be weird about it, quite frankly. The more you fear it, they less likely you are to explore and learn about it, and we need to start having the discussion on disability. There was never a more pressing time to talk about wheelchairs and their roles in our lives. From Kylie Jenner's Interview wheelchair photoshoot and even more bizarre backlash  to changes in Medicare that will cut equipment reimbursements- the general public would support measures to address it but it doesn't understand it - and therefore it doesn't care. We haven't found the right model to talk about these issues and getting people interested and I'm doing my part. To me it's obvious that it has to start with people understanding wheelchairs and their users first and figuring out how they feel about it. To get there - they can't be scared of the chair or the conversation.

Later today I received information that GTN decided on a different angle. Some of the other managers became concerned with the story reported from the first person perspective. At first  I thought it meant they got scared and don't want her to be in the chair, but that's not the case. She is still filmed in it and goes about her day. Just not on the news. For her to be in the story someone else would have to report on it, so she decided instead to build her report from the video collection FDAAF already has and then talk about Foundation's mission, wheelchair issues and what is the idea that I'm pushing rather than a summary of Angie's day. GTN staff will give us videos of her experiences that you will access on our website hopefully this week.

          

It's still offensive

How do you tell someone that what they do is offensive to you? That they hurt your feelings even if that wasn't their intention? Even if they don't know any better? Even if in their own mind they're doing something good. And, no doubt-- are themselves good people. How do you not kill that enthusiasm, that spark to help people, however misguided? And how do you not feel bad about yourself for saying something, because everything you say always comes out wrong?

There's a middle woman that I see walking her large dog around my apartment complex often. I think she lives in the the area. We cross paths when I get yo my bus stop and I wait for her to pass me in the sidewalk because dogs an wheelchairs don't mix. We often nod and smile as we go about our own ways. She seems like a nice lady. Last Sunday she chased me across the street where I was waiting for my bus and she insisted I take a dollar she was holding in her hand. When I declined, she made that gesture with her hand, the "c'mon, take it" encouragement. Here's what upsets me the most. When you do that, you instantly assume a number of things about me. It's not simply that you are better off than me economically, which would be bad enough. Yes - you assume that I'm homeless, that I'm in trouble, that you are in a position to help me without even asking if I need any help, that I'm some kind of nuisance, you can throw money at,that giving me money can make you feel better about yourself not being charitable or kind or understanding or giving enough. I didn't go to law schools around the world for then years just so I can panhandle in Florida. The most upsetting part is that you think you're better than me. That you don't think I had value. And then that I'm something you had to deal with.

The problem with that lady was that she hardly spoke any English. She seemed Latin. And it got me thinking as a Spanish speaking construction worker at the Reitz Union attempted the same thing a few weeks prior- maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe this is how they were raised,  maybe this is how they react to people in wheelchairs in their part of the world. Doesn't mean that it was the right thing to do and that wasn't still offended. Because I can be a lot of things to reach higher and be bolder. I can be more educated and I work harder. But I can never not be in a wheelchair.

Last night, the same thing happened - only with Americans. I was out to throw some papers for a client into a mailbox. Instead of getting upset I told them I was a lawyer, and they were really surprised, because it was probably the last thing they expected to hear. He explained, he likes to help who he believes to be "less fortunate", but didn't mean to "offend". And I said calmly that it was still pretty hurtful whether it was his intention or not. I was out of my business cards, which he was eager to get, so I sent him to visit my blog. And I told him that the nonprofit I founded, Florida Disability Access and Awareness Foundation was created precisely to deal with these kinds of attitudes. If he feels bad - he should donate to it. We talked a bit and laughed a little. "Maybe I should make you feel worse about it so you gives us more money" I joked as we parted. But I know on some level at some point I'll need to come to terms with the idea that this is what people think, deep down. . And I don't think I ever should.

Visit http://fdaaf.org!

Today is Giving Tuesday. Here's how you can help

On December 1st, many nonprofits will double down on their fundraising efforts and the one I created is no different. With the support of online vendors such as Ebay or Amazon the industry will push to have the hashtag #GivingTuesday  trending, highlighting both the charity sector as a whole and their individual stories. Many worthy causes will introduce themselves to you and we all have one thing common: we want to make a difference. At the same time, smaller nonprofits like ours don't produce, make, sell or distribute anything and do not have a whole lot of power behind them. The sad reality we rely on donations and grants and a small handful of volunteers. Opportunities like this as we band together, are some of the few chances we have to convince you, to ask you  to give us a second look. We also have the attention of online payment tools, like PayPal, as they're trying to break the Guinness Book of Records world record for the biggest fundraising campaign today. Florida Disability Access and Awareness Foundation is part of that effort as well. If you donate, Paypal will forward 101% of your gift today. There's a lot of great stories.   Here's how I want to make a difference:

As someone who spent all his life in a wheelchair and proving I'm just as able, as capable, as professional as everybody else, I've  come to realize that while I'm doing all I can to prove myself, there's an issue with the public perception in  how it sees people like me. The problem is greater than me alone.  People with disabilities live in communities around you. I know first hand, we all want to feel included and appreciated, seen for more than just the external. To me it comes down to two major areas: being able to be mobile, function in the outside world and being able to access public areas with ease; And not having to deal with the stares, the looks, the well intended, but misplaced- pity. Just this Sunday a lady on the sidewalk attempted to give me a dollar she pulled out of her wallet. While in her mind she was helping someone in distress, the connection she made in her mind that disability equals trouble was the thing that worried me, not her actual actions. I need to educate people to change these attitudes and this is where I need your help.  This year, I'd like to focus FDAAF's action in following areas:
- To work as a disability clearing house by putting together a portal first in Florida, then beyond. We'd collect information on accessible buildings and areas, certify businesses as FDAAF approved on different levels, feature inspiring individuals with disabilities and stories of those who want to try their day in a wheelchair.
- A video is worth a thousand words. We have seen how we can change attitudes if we simply put people in a wheelchair, and then turn the camera on. In August we've spent an entire month giving business owners the wheelchair experience.  This is a project that inspired me to refocus on our mission, reenergized me and reassured me in what we were doing. I'm confident it needs to continue.

To me, it's a very personal cause. But I'm limited to how much I can do. I dedicated a lot of my time and money to make this vision come alive, and we're closer. But we do need your help. The harsh reality is that while we can lean on student volunteers to help us and they're eager to join and to learn- anything from t-shirts to pens and brochures cost money. We could do so much more with public support. We also hope to reach out to corporate sponsors- we can really make a difference together and reach out to a group of proud, independent, ambitious, driven people that are often overlooked. Please email me at rstrzalkowski@fdaaf.org.
If you can, visit the PayPal's challenge to donate today https://www.paypal.com/us/webapps/mpp/search-cause?charityId=74616&s=3

Or simply shop at Amazon via this link and they will donate on your behalf http://smile.amazon.com/ch/46-1804557

Holiday service

Here's a bit of a good news: The bus system in Gainesville, a Florida city where I've lived since I moved to the States from Poland now offers service on most holidays. To someone who drives or even walks this might not be a big deal, but to me being able to get out of my apartment and have an adventure has always been something extraordinary. Seeing empty parking spaces, with most of my favorite shops closed and friends leaving town, watching neighbors rushing, having somewhere to go is always bad enough. My independence and my self assurance were fueled by my ability to experience things. This is why it was in America that I finally felt free. I could  get on a bus, go anywhere and experience the world. Yet around holidays- bee it Veteran's Day, Martin Luther King Day or Christmas I'd be stuck again. In my apartment, by myself, waiting for the ordeal to be over. Sure, I'd tell myself that it didn't matter. That I can watch TV, catch up on my reading or order something extremely unhealthy, typically the night before- because some of the delivery services celebrate too. But no more. No more wondering if I have enough food ordered in to last me a weekend, no more binge watching bad TV or eating junk. No more thinking I need to leave a New Year's Eve party early and get a ride from a kind stranger. Now I can just get on a bus in the morning. That empowered feeling that I've had for as long as I lived here comes me having choices. And it's usually around Christmas that I'm reminded how limited I really am. In transportation, in socializing, in human experience - in ability. And I'm reminded, how much in actuality I have to rely on other people. On that entire set up that must be in place and work like a well oiled machine for someone like me to stay independent. And those are some of the things I don't like thinking about. I want to be my own man. A few weeks ago, I've had a discussion with some of my Board members. They didn't quite understand the connection I was making between feeling good about myself and being able to do things for myself. True, it might be anecdotal - but I think back to Christmas in 2008, the first time the concept of holidays in the city really dawned on me, and the first year I didn't go anywhere or visit with anyone. I'm an intelligent guy- I can reason with myself and say it's only a day, and a day doesn't matter. I'll wake up in the morning and it will be over. I had a plate of Publix sugar orange and blue frosted cookies and a season worth of "Sarah Connor Chronicles" to stream online. Yet, I felt isolated, alone and stuck and I couldn't shake that feeling. It was also at a time where I had a reasonably nice apartment in the middle of nowhere. If I get the blues today, at least I can roll around downtown. It's funny. I was here where there the buses weren't running on Sundays. I'd mostly stay home or study. Saturday bus used to finish at 5. Now we have holiday service. In a few years, I'm sure it will be running on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Gainesville is growing and I can get that feeling again.  I can stay, I can go, I get to be my own person.

13 people, 13 stories, 1 wheelchair, 1 video

It's far from perfect, but it's here. To me it underscores something significant- that our non profit completed its first project. Working with limited, scratch that, no resources to speak of, no equipment other than mobile devices and less volunteers than I care to admit we pulled something together. Does it represent everything I want FDAAF to stand for? Of course not. But I'm still grateful to everyone involved. With a video, a short preview of Wheelchaired for a Day was for us in August and the potential of what it could be, we close the chapter on a project that required weeks of planning, scheduling, uploading over faulty internet connections and failing devices. It gives me a sense of closure. It also allows me to recognize everyone involved who put in their time and energy to have it come together. A big thank you to all. Of course- our participants have given us so much more than we used, that we're ever will be able to use, the tears, the joy, the frustration and the satisfaction. Hopefully, one day we'll be able to revisit those materials and give everyone a proper video profiles. There's a certain enjoyment in being able to move on.  And it taught me a lot- about what we are, and what we are not able to do. Volunteer management, stress management, human nature, event planning, curbing your expectations, while not giving up hope. An education, for sure. And now, older and wiser, we can turn the page. Focus on the next thing. Be better, more in control. With a project completed, we can now move to bigger things but I will not forget it. The stories will be ironed out and the videos will be smoother no doubt, but this will always be where it started for me. Because the idea that I've had, that people can have a life altering experience by being in a wheelchair always was and will be grand. With this, I ask you to support us. Please donate so our ideas can grow. Paypal