Sunday, November 27, 2016

Childhood disability in the public eye.

Full disclosure: "A League of their Own" is one of my favorite movies. Actress and TV personality Rosie O'Donnell has caused quite a stir a few days ago by suggesting that Donald Trump's youngest sun may have autism. She later defended her comments by saying that Barron Trump's high profile would bring attention to the issue. Here's what I don't like about this: he is only ten years old. Nobody should be made the face of anything at such an early age, and no person should ever be "outed" as anything against their will. Even if true- and again- the boy has been thrown into the public eye without having any say in the matter- it will be up to the incoming first couple to reveal any information about him. And even with that- we need to remember that his take on it might be different than his parents, and ten years down the line he might not appreciate the exposure. Here's one thing I will say as someone who grew up with Cerebral Palsy, a pretty visible condition, with very loving parents who were also determined advocates. My mom and dad always identified with my well being and my perspective. But my perspective and theirs was not exactly the same. I know it's very easy to confuse when you are so intertwined with someone it feels like you may be one but you are not. The choices that they made for me were not always my choices, and the consequences they have accepted on my behalf where not always the choices I would have. And this is something that I always think about when saying celebrities featuring their children so willingly and talking about their issues. Disabilities and medical issues are private concerns.

 Few years ago I wrote about how angry I was when a drunk woman pointed at my wheelchair as I was rolling by and said "I know what you have! It's Cerebral Palsy" She followed up with, "It's OK, I'm a doctor". I don't care who she was. She had no business being in my business. Earlier, I've written about my friend who went to great extremes to hide the fact she was bipolar. Because she had the right to control that information. To live her life as she chose to as much as possible. Rosie O'Donnell should understand that as much as anybody. Disabilities are stigmatizing. You don't start a discussion by blowing up somebody else's life, just expose it for anyone to view. You lay the groundwork, you let them come to this decision. Any discussion about Barron Trump should start and end with- he is ten years old. And if the Trump family is really facing any of these issues, maybe it's an area where Mr Trump and Ms. O'Donnell put their differences aside and work together. I know that this is something that people do- my dad would also point out some people on the street when I was growing up with neuromotor symptoms, but I felt it was just so easy to jump to conclusions. And again- none of our concern.  So much is being said about bullying. And yet, it's easy to gang up on a ten year old boy, who may or may not have something none of us is entitled to know about. And he goes against grown people with a platform. Adults who should know better.

Didn't we feel that commenting on Secretary Clinton's alleged Parkinson's, a grown woman, a politician and an issue relevant to her ability to govern was also out of line? If Ms O'Donnell has interest in approaching disability awareness the kinder way, she is always welcome at Florida Disability Access and Awareness Foundation and so is the Trump family. Let's not tear into each other. No problems can be solved that way.



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